Recumbent Researcher

Laying down is a vulnerable position.
A position of
Rest
Sleep
Peace
Pain
Passed out
Restlessness
Day darkness
Boredom
Bleeding
Comfort
Sex
No sex
Love
Intimacy
Loneliness
Hiding
Hibernation
Isolation
T.V glow
Worry
Warmth
Curling curled up
Personal
Private
Where you care for yourself or somebody cares for you and
Where you might watch someone dying or die and
Where we might die too.
From this position.

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It sometimes feels wound-like open to be a researcher who is all day laying down. Looking at the world and engaging with the world and being always seen in a vulnerable postural place. Perpetual perceptual convalescence. Situated Research-er. My laying down body becomes an anchored research site. A bodymind landscape. Vulnerable land with ears and eyes: ‘I can see this...... can you see this too?’

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I have always escaped to laying down places and positions to be away from the contortions and consequences of standing up. My sanctuary of sick didn’t allow much else in with me. My practice was lost in the tension of wanting to do and not being abled to do and it had to stay outside. Staying visible... my laying down position invites new positionality. My place of sick-comfort is no longer private... separate. Practice folds into my comfort and comfort unflods into my practices.

Sick-Making. Sick-Doing. Sick-Creating. Sick-Storytelling. 

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And from here I will ask, I can see this...... can you see this? I feel this... do you feel this too? Maybe not........... let me show you.

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Is that what a researcher is?